Lately, all I've been able to listen to is The Smiths and / or Morrissey. I can't decide if this is a positive phase or not... I think it's a sign that I'm "miserable now", but I don't quite feel miserable. It's more like a semi-melancholy state of indifference, but with a positive outlook on the future. I think things will get better, but I don't think it's going to happen here. In fact, I know things won't get better here. I've half accepted my place here and I'm not trying to change it. I'll just let things change around me and see where I end up instead of taking the proactive approach. That's kind of my thing, I think--- letting the problems resolve themselves. Maybe that's what makes me immature, or less of an adult. Maybe I should take a more active role in my own life and actually do something with this head / body / mind of mine. But once more, I go back to indifference. I think things will look better after summer is over. The rest of the semester is probably going to be hell, and I'm fairly confident this summer will be as well. My strange ever-changing semi-non-existent social life is most definitely going to get itself fucked up again as always, and I'll probably have to start over again. I think I'm so socially inept because that's kind of how every relationship [the human kind, not the man-woman kind] I've ever had has functioned.
functions awkwardly --> functions really well --> BFFs --> Something really petty and semi-awkward and terrible on my part happens --> HATRED OF ME --> Giving up on trying to save said relationship because I feel as if it will inevitably fall apart again --> period of temporary loneliness and apathy --> repeat.
Not to mention I make friends in spurts... It's never a cohesive group. Whatever, I'm sick of this bullshitty selfpsychoanalysis. I just fucking like the Smiths.
I specifically am attached to the songs "William, it Was Really Nothing" , "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" "Bigmouth Strikes Again" "Sheila Take a Bow" "Last of the Famous International Playboys" and "Maladjusted". Kind of a long list, but considering the extensive discography of both Morrissey and the Smiths, I think it's a pretty fair summary.
I think that at one point in every middle class white kid's teenage existence, The Smiths would be the perfect soundtrack. I know it definitely is featured on the soundtrack of my 13-year-old self, then my 15.5-year-old self, then my 17.4-year-old self, and now my current 18.95-year-old self. I also believe the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower is required reading / the autobiography for all of us too. Even if we don't like to admit it, blossoming pre-hipster tweens love that fucking book. I loved that fucking book. The kid in that book loved the Smiths. See?
Not to mention Morrissey is completely and utterly the type of rockstar I would like to "get it on" with. You know what I am saying. He's too fabulous.
My band is going to be opening for Wavves if all goes as planned. I can't wait to fuck that up. We have ~4 songs completed and a few that are in the works. We don't have a name. They wear basketball shorts and sandals. I don't care, actually, because Wavves are kind of fuck-ups, too, in the best sense of the word.
I make a lot of Dad jokes.
Y'know, like bad jokes that are out of place and no one understands and only the dad is awkwardly laughing and you kind of have to chuckle a little because you don't want your dad / your friend's dad to be left hanging on his own.
I wish I could write a book of Dad jokes, but I think the only people who would read it would be Dads and apathetic teenagers who are looking for a little irony in life.
Enough of a rant.
